why my Dad is my hero

"Standing Silent", premiering at the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival on February 18, 2011.

An insular Orthodox neighborhood in Baltimore is scandalized after a journalist uncovers generations of child molestation at the hands of prominent rabbis. Unrelenting in his pursuit despite terrible personal repercussions, Baltimore Jewish Times reporter Phil Jacobs is determined to break the silence of victims and expose the predators, trusted and powerful religious leaders. Expecting community support and action, Jacobs is stunned to find himself ostracized by those who would cover up decades of abuse lest they bring shame to the rabbinate and themselves. Through a multiyear investigation, Jacobs confronts not only the Orthodox establishment, but demons from his own past. From Baltimore to Brooklyn, to the streets of Jerusalem, case after case of abuse is slowly brought to light. Recipient of a Sundance Documentary Filmmaker Grant, this taboo breaking film recounts how a courageous reporter’s pen became his sword of justice.

link to film site

so ready to be done

Got a performance review today that was all over the place. Feeling more insecure about my work than ever. Feel like I'm busting my ass to stay afloat, often at the expense of my family, and it's never enough. Feel like I'm being scrutinized and I always have to look over my shoulder. So glad to be almost done and then fellowship. Meanwhile, got The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For for Chanukah from Yaakov, so that's been awesome. He's been reading it and finally gets it, though he thinks it should be called "Dykes for Whom to Watch Out," grammar-nazi that he is.

2010 in Status Updates

oh yes. oh fucking yes.

talk me down off the ledge

getting a panic attack about once a day when i think about the fact that yaakov lost his job and i'm in school. mad guilt. but i won't quit, that's stupid. just have to push forward, and it doesn't help when i feel like i'm being watched by everyone at every turn; that people are just waiting for me to screw up. there's no room for error and i all i want to do is sleep/cry/run. and i have to be there for my boo.

Thanksgiving recap

Going to my in-laws' for Thanksgiving is like a spa vacation. It's my mother-in-laws' holiday, so it's not negotiable, which is fine by me. They live in Tallahassee, FL, which is really like southern Georgia; not much going on. Kim doesn't let me cook (yes, I offer repeatedly), and the boo is well taken care of. He had fun playing with the dogs, including Auntie Christy's new puppy Abby (supposedly being groomed to give to us -- as if we don't have enough going on).

One thing I love about my in-laws' is that everything is always so low-key. This is not a family that talks about its feelings, which, frankly, can be

very refreshing. Yeah, at a certain point they'll probably all explode, but in the meantime there's no psycho family drama of the kind that makes holidays with my side of the family exhausting, much as I love them.

It didn't hurt that they took the boo shopping for a whole new winter wardrobe. That was awesome. And we got him the Dr. Seuss book There's a Wocket in My Pocket, a classic of my childhood, with a matching stuffed Wocket! Rock.

Kim also took us shoe shopping, and we got some great little Croc boots for the boo, as well as fabulous and comfortable boots for me, which I'm very excited about. They pretty much look like the pic, but with a larger heel. Nothing too fancy, but they're well-made and make me feel like an adult. They are made for walking.

out there

So we're over Thanksgiving. Went to Florida to visit the in-laws. On the plane on the way back, holding Nani, I got this urge to blog again. Why, I have no idea. Sitting in front of the computer at this moment, I have no idea. Maybe we'll find out why. If not, this will just be another one of the internet's millions of echo chambers.